Budget Like a Rockstar:

Over the years, I’ve had many different reasons to look at money (or the lack thereof) in a very different manner than a lot of my friends; the main reason being my love and pursuit of music and the rock star lifestyle.  I wanted to be the next big thing, shredding my axe to the head banging masses of angst-filled adolescents and wooing the ladies with my impeccable ballad writing talents.  My dedication in this pursuit was relentless, but it came with a price. 

Pursuing a career in music isn’t cheap by any means, unless you have rich parents to pay for everything, which most of us do not.  Long story short, I didn’t become the next rock god, and I have since moved on to pursue other outlets in life. However, I have taken many lessons from this rock and roll journey.  One of the most valuable lessons is how to get by without a lot of money.  Now when I say not a lot of money, I don’t mean eating out three times a week rather than five.  I mean hoping to eat three meals a day more than five times a week.  These were some difficult and often hungry times, but I survived and came out with a great sense of how to budget my money. This experience taught me that I can do more in life with less.  This skill can help you to still enjoy living your life while getting out of debt, or to save up for a big life purchase like buying a house, taking a dream vacation, starting a family or sending your kid to college.

Below are four simple rules I learned to live by when either trying to save up some serious money, getting out of debt, or most recently just getting by while in an unemployed job transition.  Follow these guidelines and see some of the stresses of money melt away from your life.

1)       Wish Not, Want Not

Anytime I’m looking to accomplish something, I like to get the hardest step out of the way first.  For me, telling myself to stay focused on what I am working towards is definitely the hardest step.  In my rockstar days I wanted to spend money impulsively, without reflecting on how it would affect me, and ultimately my goal, in the long run.  Whether it was buying a new guitar when I already had two, going out to eat the day after I had bought groceries for the week, or taking a trip with friends when I really couldn’t afford it and just putting it on my credit card – all just because I wanted to.  I had to stop time and time again and mentally reassure myself that I didn’t need any of these things as much as my long term goal.  This led to me to not wanting those extra little things in life as much, and overtime it became my second nature to tell myself “no”.  There was a sign in my high school locker room that summed it up best.  It read, “The reason most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade in what they want most, for what they want at the moment.”*

2)      Weigh Your Options

Scenario:  You have two different things coming up that you want to do this week.  On one hand, you and your significant other have been talking about going out to dinner and a movie for some time now.  On the other hand, one of your buddies or girlfriends is having a milestone birthday and hitting up your favorite bar to celebrate the occasion.  While you can manage the money for one of them, there’s no way you can afford both. 

The Answer:  Just pick one.  Don’t stretch yourself to do both when you know you can’t afford it.  A big part of this is keeping the credit card out of the picture so it’s not a crutch that leads you to fall deeper into debt.  The world is not going to end if you can’t do both.  If you and your significant other have been planning this date for some time, your buddy or girlfriend will understand, especially if you explain the situation.  If they don’t, maybe they’re not that great of a friend after all.  If the birthday is that important to you and to your friend, and there is no way you can or will miss it, find another way to spend time with your significant other.  There are plenty of other ways to enjoy a romantic evening together without spending a lot of money.

 Which brings me to the next rule…

3)      Find a Less Expensive Alternative

My girlfriend and I use this one a lot.  We love spending time together and having date nights, but neither of us are bringing in the big bucks right now.  We are both pursuing endeavors that leave our wallets a little lighter, but leave plenty of room for creativity.  One of our favorite date night themes is a romantic dinner for two…at home.  We spend time in the kitchen together preparing dinner.  Then we’ll light a candle while we eat on our front patio and have a nice glass of wine in front of our fire place afterwards.  Sometimes we’ll do this even if we can afford to eat out, because it’s more personal and intimate.  Another great idea is the day date.  We’ve found that a movie theater down the street from us has $6 movie tickets seven days a week if you go before noon.  We’ll catch an early movie on the weekend and then maybe eat lunch at our favorite little café — all for under $30.  When we want to hang out with friends, but don’t want to spend a lot of cash, we’ll have them over for movie night or board game night.  It’s amazing how much fun you have just getting everyone together, especially if a few bottles of your favorite inexpensive wines are involved.

4)      A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two In The Bush

This is my favorite rule, and having a lot of music equipment over the years, the one I’m best at.  If you’re not using it and don’t see a use for it in the foreseeable future, sell it!  With eBay, Craigslist and a whole slew of other online sites used to sell your things, it’s easier than ever to turn your old stuff that’s just laying around in storage into your next rent, mortgage or credit card payment.  Sentimental value can only get you so far.  Obviously, if it’s something you truly cherish or something you believe will skyrocket in value in the future, keep it.  But it’s amazing what we as people will tell ourselves is truly important for us to keep around.  It’s also an amazing feeling to clear out clutter from your life.  Even if you can’t sell it, donate it.  Tax breaks mean more money in your pocket come spring time when the IRS comes knocking.  

So if you’re trying to claw your way out of debt or simply want to save up for that next big adventure in life, give these four rules a try.  It’s amazing how much easier finances can be by just taking a step back, and setting some simple guidelines to focus on.

*Author of quote unknown

Laying “What If” to rest…

Lately I’ve been trying to figure out my next move in life.  The past 12 years its been music and playing in a band and I focused 90% of my career efforts on that goal.  Recently I decided this goal wasn’t what I truly wanted anymore so I walked away.  Having almost half my life dedicated to this one thing, I’ve had a little trouble coming up with what’s next.  So, I decided to take a step back and try and figure out what was causing me to experience this and every thought always came back to the same phrase… “what if”? 

What if I get a new job and I don’t like it then I’m stuck…What if I try and start my own business but it doesn’t work out…What if I take a direction that has nothing to do with music and regret leaving all together?

Finally, I asked myself, “what if I tell myself to shut the hell up and stop worrying about what if and go for it and see where it takes me?”.  I finally realized that the “what ifs” were taking over my thought process, my motivation, my drive and even my creativity.  The crazy thing is though, I have no idea if any of it will happen, none of us do.  But there’s only one way to find out…

Recently a good buddy of mine that I have been friends with forever told me a good what if story.  He is an avid poker player and I’m sure if he could would do it full time.  He was in a poker tournament that could potentially qualify him for the World Series of poker.  It had come down to him and one other player to determine the winner.  He was dealt pocket Aces and was ecstatic.  Obviously he played aggresively on the hand and ended up losing on the River to KQ off suit when the guy caught a second pair.  My buddy was mortified!  He had done everything right and lost on the very last card of the tournament.  What if he had won that hand and gone to the World Series of Poker and won the whole thing?  What if, what if, what if?  It was driving him crazy to the point he didn’t enjoy playing poker because he was worried it always make him feel like this.  But the more and more he thought about it he realized there was nothing he could do to change the outcome and worrying about “what if” was only making him feel worse.  So he swallowed his pride, got back on that horse and kept chasing the dream!

The point of the story is we are not able to control every outcome in life.  But the more we sit around worrying about what might happen or what might have happened if… the less risks we take to achieve true happiness.  Risks are what make life exciting and give people character.  Risks build empires, inspire stories that are told for generations, put man on the moon and CPAs in the World Series of Poker.

Now I’m not saying people that don’t take risks don’t have character.  I know plenty of people who are comfortable where they are and have gotten there with out taking risks and I’m so very happy for them.  But if you’re not happy where you are or with what you’re doing and there is something you can do about it, don’t let the fear of “what if” stop you from going for it.  I can’t tell you what’s next for me, but I can tell you “what if” isn’t going to make the decision for me.

As always, I live, I love, I am…

-SP

The Aha! Moment:

Have you ever been talking or thinking about something when all of a sudden everything clicks and you get why this thing is called what it is or understand the meaning behind it that you had never known until right now?  Not because it’s too difficult to grasp or you’re too dumb to put two and two together.  More because you’re so accustomed to it just meaning what it means you’ve never had to or even thought to think of the meaning behind it.

Today I was chatting with a buddy of mine and I made a joke about his girlfriend’s family, referring to them as his “in-laws”,  when all of a sudden out of nowhere POW!  It hit me why a spouse’s family members are called their “in-laws”.  Now obviously this isn’t a significant discovery on my part by any means, but it got me thinking.  I had accepted this term to mean what it does with out thinking about the meaning behind it.  What else is out there that I haven’t thought about and just accepted it as is? 

The more and more I pondered on this question the more I thought about how it applied to my life on a much larger scale than where the term “in-laws” came from.  What else in life do people just accept with out questioning because they just don’t think to think about?  Religion, politics, trends, what your favorite blog to read is at the current moment (this one you don’t need to think about, I am completely fine with you just accepting that I’m your favorite blogger at the current moment and leaving it at that, but just this one thing)?  If you think about this, it’s kind of scary.  The one thing human beings use to most disassociate themselves from every other living object on this planet is our brain capacity.  Simply put, we’re smarter.  We can solve social, mathmatical and scientific problems.  We can design skyscrapers, weapons of mass destruction and entire civilization standards to live by…but for 27 years I never thought of why the term “in-laws” was used to describe a spouse’s family members.

The point I’m getting at, is the world needs more Aha moments.  If you believe in something ask yourself why?  Not to try and change what you believe, but to figure out what it is about that idea, situation, religion, political party that makes you believe in it.    Stop believing in something for the sole reason that you were told to believe in it, or you think others will like you more, or because you think you have to.  Believe in it because you have thought about it and decided it is what you truly believe in.  And just because the next person in line may have a different set of beliefs, doesn’t mean one is right and one is wrong, only different.  The world is big, bigger than the vast picture our minds paint it out to be, big enough for more than one set of beliefs.  The sooner we can all learn this, the sooner our minds will set us free…

I live, I love, I’ve thought long and hard about it, I am…

-SP

An Inspirational Read:

So over the past few months I have had a very big change in my life style and over all perception of living.  For a long time I let my mind, anxiety and fears of “what if” rule over me.  I have read a number of books that have “opened my eyes” to truly living and enjoying every present moment of it no matter what my environment or situation may be. 

Recently I was turned on to Paulo Coelho’s novel The Alchemist.  This is a novel that has been around for some time and tells the story of a shepherd who realizes he has the potential for so much more in life than he is currently giving himself credit for.  Through out the book, he experiences every challenge life can throw at him and turns each one into an opportunity to better understand and appreciate the world around him.  He learns of a central energy that is present in every living and non living thing that connects everything in the world.  He meets people that have varied outlooks on life that through closer observation all point back to the same values to live and love by.  He also learns that following his dreams no matter what the fears, obstacles or challenges he faces is truly what gives himself and everyone a sense of what it means to live, to exist, to be. 

I really took this book to heart as I have recently come to the conclusion that to truly live, one must surrender all fears, notions of failure and negativity.  I recently gave up my comfortable 9 - 5 well paying job for a life of uncertainty playing in a band full time.  For years I had told myself I’ll do it in 6 months, or I can do both while only giving either half the effort they required.  Then one day I realized that the worst that could happen is that my future could not turn out how I envision it to.  Then what…?  I don’t know.  And I am completely fine with that…

I plan on facing every challenge, obstacle and not how I would have envisioned it situation with a welcoming embrace.  I will look at each of them as an opportunity to better myself and help others in need.  Throughout this blog you will see me say “I live, I love, I am…”.  This is a motto that has been helping me recognize that all we are in our lives is our being.  The Alchemist helped me see this in myself.  If you have not read this yet, or read it a while ago but didn’t get anything out of it, try reading it again with a clear and accepting mind to see if it touches you as it did me.

“There was nothing holding him back, except himself” Paulo Coelho The Alchemist

-SP